Seperate lives
I thought keeping 2 blogs would be easy. Write in the French one and translate for the English one. Well... I don't feel like translating. It takes away all the spontaneity. So I guess I'll simply be using different parts of my brain for both the blogs.Here's a little funny story for you. Well, not funny ah-ah. But then again, sometimes it's better to laugh than cry.
As I saud before, I had a m/c in December. My EDD was August 8th. At the beginning of this cycle, which is the first TTC cycle since the m/c, I went for my first folly scan in a while. I was really anxious and hoping there would be more than one folicle. I was told to wait for the RE in the nurse room where they weight and take the blood pressure of the patients. As I was quietly sitting there, trying to relax and breathe through the nose, a girl walks in and sits on the chair next to me. She did not look pregnant, but the hand constantly on her belly made me guess pretty quickly that she was. She was about the same age I am. The nurse asked her a couple of questions. Then said "Well, your EDD is August 11. You are now at X weeks. Blah blah blah" And kept going about all the appointments she's gonna have, what will be happening next and oh there you are, take some samples and brochures about the joy of becoming a mom. The girl, glowing with happiness, was talking about how great her pregnancy was going, how she felt good, how she was happy about this first pregnancy. And I was still siting there, trying to hold back the tears and not run away. All I could hear in my head was: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?? Is this some sort of sick joke? Hey You up there, what's that all about huh?
I was about to shoke on my rage and sadness when the RE asked me to come in.End of story.
Told you it was not funny ah-ah. But after a couple of days, I started to laugh at it. I thought it was so ridiculous, I felt like I was in a bad comedy movie or something. I have cried enough already about all this struggle. So now I try to laugh as much as I can. Even if to others there's nothing funny.
posted by Kiwi at
7:50 PM
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