The naivety of others
Talking about my own naivety made me realise I was also facing the naivety of others. But by that, I also mean their ignorance. May it be willfully or not. I cannot blame normal people for not knowing about infertility. It is not something we talk about a lot when it is not part of our reality. We grow up thinking (and all our sex-ed classes teach us the same) that the one time we won't be careful while having sex, we will end up pregnant. So we feel it is pretty easy to get pregnant. It IS, for most people. But for many others like us, it is not. And I sometimes feel like society has forgotten or chosen to ignore the infertile. By pretending we don't exist, they make our battle even harder and they make us feel like we are maybe making a fuss about nothing.They do not know we are suffering because it is not written on our forehead and we won't talk about it over tea. So we can't blame them for not being sensitive. Or can we? People around us not only didn't know what we were going through, but they did not know anyone was going through that. Everytime I hear someone is pregnant, I ask myself "I wonder how much time it took and did she take Clomid?" But the average person does not think about that. They simply think "Oh wow! They love each other, they decided to have a baby and here it is!" That's the naivety I am talking about. And I don't blame those who do not know for being insensitive. But I have no mercy for my friends who do know we are having a hard time TTC and still are insensitive. I do not ask them to understand. I myself cannot understand something I'm not living. I can't understand what it's like to have diabetes, for example. But still, I can be sensitive enough not to eat chocolate cake in the face of a diabetic. I ask the same thing of my friends. It's ok if you don't understand me, but can you at least respect me and be sensitive? Can you at least stop being naïve and aknowledge our struggle?
posted by Kiwi at
4:47 PM
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