Eggs, shots and rock n roll

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

We're taking a break

I am self-employed. Ever since we've been TTC, we knew we would have to save money if I ever got pregnant. Because for me, not working means no money at all and risking to lose my clients if I take too much time off. But for a couple of weeks now, some new light has been shining on this stressful issue. The Québec governement has instaured a new Maternity leave program that now includes self-employed people. That means, if I give birth from Jan. 1st 2006 and on, I will receive money from the governement for maternity leave. I was so happy to learn that, I wanted to cry! Not only did it mean we would not have to worry as much about saving up 3 months worth of salary, but it meant we would only have to worry about keeping my clients waiting and not losing business while taking care of the baby. I know lots of people have no maternity leave at all. I know I will be a one lucky chick if I do receive money. But the possibility itself, the fact that I, a self-employed hard worker, will be recognized as any other workers, is such a huge step.

But yesterday, I realised something: if I wanted to give birth after Jan. 1st, my little egg would have to meet the little soldier after April 10th. This means I will ovulate too soon this cycle. Oh well. So this cycle is a bust, because we have decided we were going to wait the one month that would make the huge difference in our lives. We would go from no income at all to some income from the governement, just for one month.

It feels weird just thinking about not even trying this month. I have taken the Femara. I have felt the hot flashes and the moodiness and the depression (and I am sure Mr. P. has felt all of that too!). I will continue charting. But we won't be trying. It is really hard thinking we will be missing out one ovulation. It will be the 9th one in more than 36 months, and we will not make use of it. We have thought long and hard about it. But since it is only a matter of a few weeks, we think it's for the best. Of course, if I had the choice between having a baby now with no income and having the maternity leave income later, I would chose the baby in a heartbeat. I would trade all the money in the world to have my baby in August as I was supposed to. But since we can't change the past, we're going to make the right decision to make the best of the future.

1 comment(s):

I know how hard it is to take a break, even a short one, but it sounds like you're making a great decision for your entire family and future! hang in there! :-)

By Blogger Milenka, at 11:20 PM  

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