Eggs, shots and rock n roll

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

The in-laws

Last weekend, we went to my IL's place in the woods for P's birthday. He turned 30, so I kinda expected they had planned something special for him. P's cousin, A, was coming along with us. She's like a sister to him, so it was only natural she was there.

When we arrived, the FIL looks at me and says "well, you're not gonna be able to hide it much longer" looking at my belly. What kind of a comment is that? It doesn't even show when I'm dressed! Anyway, I let this go, being from the FIL, who always says awkward and awful things. Much more so when he's drunk, and I'm pretty sure he was at the time.

Well, here's what the IL had planned for P's birthday. His brother wasn't even there. They had invited and old aunt because it was her birtday too. P likes his family, you know, because he has to. But he would never invite his aunt to his birthday party. Anyway, they had also invited an other aunt and her husband, who P's is not close to at all. They came along with their son, who's 4o and has never worked in his entire life and is still living with his parents. P hates that cousin, really. I hate him too. He disgusts me and really gets on my nerves. Why o why would they invite him to P's party? The answer is simple, because we were not only celebrating P's 30th birthday, but his uncle's birthday and his old aunt's birthday too. So not only did P have to suffer the presence of people he didn't like, but he did not even have the honor to have one night just for him. One night people, one diner, one cake, not a lot to ask! His parents, his brother, celebrating HIS birthday.

I was SO pissed at his parents! I know P was very, very sad and disappointed, but he never said a word. And it makes me even more sad because I'm no better, I did not plan a party for his 30th birthday. I tried, but he doesn't have that many friends, and they don't mix with each other. So instead, I took him to a nice restaurant for diner, just the two of us.

But back to the FIL, because he said something else to me. While I was taking a nap in the afternoon, P told some people about the pregnancy. I did not see who was there, I did not know who knew when I got up. Later, when P was blowing his part of the candles, FIL wanted to take a picture of us in front of the cake (whatever!). We smiled, looking at the camera. Instead of pushing the button, FIL asks me "does everybody know? Did you tell everybody?" in a loud whisper. I'm sitting there, still smiling, thinking just take the fucking picture and we'll discuss after! It turned out some people did not know, so to announce it, he said "Well, as you may have seen, Kiwi is now overweight. She has gained some weight..." And there I am, staring at him, not believing my ears. What the hell are you saying? What kind of a way to announce a pregnancy is that?? Have you never learned you can never talk about a woman's weight? Oh. my. god. I was so mad at him! Especially since I haven't even gained weight, I even lost some! Stupid, stupid FIL. P thinks I take it too personally. Well yeah, he just insulted me, am I supposed to smile and forget all my life of struggling with my weight, forget all the efforts I have put to change my eating habits so I would not have to go through what my mother did? Weight is a very, very sensitive spot in our family. I'm the skinny one, I'm ok. But I have seen my mom do all the diets on the face of the earth. All my life, she has been unhappy about her weight (and she is overweight) and struggling with it. I have always paid attention to what I ate, how much I exercised, because I always feared becoming like my mom. I always knew if I stopped being careful, I would gain weight very fast. And because of PCOS, it has never be an easy task to lose even 5 pounds. Now that I'm pregnant, the fear is still there. I know now I have a good reason to gain weight, but I'm very afraid not to be able to lose it afterwards. But that's a whole other issue. Let's get back to my FIL.

Instead of appologizing, he said "oh well, she's pregnant" as if I had spoiled his good story.

P's brother has a dog. The IL love that dog, they remembered his name the first time they were told. We have had the same cat for over 7 years, but they still can't remember the name. They don't even remember she's a girl (in French, we say he or she to animals, not it). Anyway, that, I don't really care about. I know they don't give a damn about my cat, except to remind me that she bit my SIL 4 years ago (and only that one time). Anywho... The dog, they call it "the grandson". I have nothing against people acting as if animals were family members. I do it too, my cat's my girl. The thing is, it makes me very, very afraid that the FIL will call our baby "the grandson" or "the granddaughter" instead of by their name. And it makes me very, very afraid that he's gonna continue to call the dog his grandson even if we have a boy and he has a real grandson. I just don't like the idea of my kid being put to the same level as a dog. Of course, when I tried to say something about that, FIL simply said "oh the grandson is gonna love its cousin."

Is there a place where I can exchange my IL? Please please, pretty please?

2 comment(s):

WOW holy FIL from hell! I cannot believe that he told everyone like that. That's just wrong. Its your place to tell people... not his :(

I'm sorry that you had to endure that day... and that they didn't give P the birthday he should have had.

By Blogger Sheryl, at 3:32 PM  

I'm so sorry about your insensitive in-laws! That is so sad, and for P as well.


By Blogger Susie, at 7:33 PM  

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