Eggs, shots and rock n roll

Friday, August 26, 2005

Boy or girl?

People ask me if I'd rather have one or the other. I answer, honestly, no. I want a boy and a girl, equaly. People ask me if I have a gut feeling. I used to say no, because I didn't. But now I'm not so sure. I've just realised that from the beginning of this pregnancy, without it being crystal clear, I've always seen Pépin as a boy. For the last few days, I've been thinking about it a lot and I always picture my child as a little boy. P is convinced since the beginning he's having a son. Not because he wants a boy more than a girl, just because he sees it that way too.

I'm very anxious to know. I liked talking about Pépin in a vague way. But I think knowing a little bit more about its identity will make its existence more real. It won't be a fetus anymore (of course it's already more than that to us), but a little person. Pépin will no longer be a kiwi seed, but a son or a daughter. Knowing the gender will change the way I see Pépin.

Of course, most of all, I want a healthy baby, no doubt about it. I don't want to be too convinced about the gender before doing the u/s. I don't think I'll be able to say "I knew it". I know that no matter what Pépin's gender is, I'm gonna be extatic. But I also know that no matter what the gender is, I'm gonna be a little disappointed too. Not a lot, and certainly not for long. Only long enough to say goodbye to what I won't have this time and fully embrace what we will have.

Little fact... Eleven years ago to the day, P and I met. On August 26, 1994, I started college. He was in my English class, first class of the first day of the first year of college. We did not become friends right away, but our paths had already met. Who would have thought that we would be here, eleven years later, looking at our baby on a black and white screen?

2 comment(s):

Congrats on the 11 years! Hubby and I have been together for 11 years too! It is strange to think back that long ago and realize our lives now.

No matter what the sex of the baby, wishing you that (s)he is healthy!!

ps. Thanks for deleting my earlier screw-up! :)

By Anonymous Dooneybug, at 12:38 AM  

So any new on the gender of the wee kiwi?

By Anonymous Alisa, at 12:53 PM  

Post a comment

<< Home