Eggs, shots and rock n roll

Thursday, August 25, 2005


I have the feeling I've been waiting a lot these last few years. Sometimes with impatience, other times with peace. I waited for my boyfriend to agree to try to have a baby. I waited for my period. Then I waited for the test results, the diagnosis and the solution. I waited, every cycle, for ovulation (or not) and for my period (or let's hope not). I waited for a little baby to make a home of my womb. I often waited long minutes that seemed like hours, while hoping real hard, for a pregnancy test to dry on the bathroom counter and give me the verdict. I waited endless hours at the ER, hoping the bleeding would stop and the baby would still be there. I waited to stop crying and stop hurting, in vain. I waited yet another endless cycle until we could start trying again. I waited a few more months before deciding to try and go for a laparoscopy and ovarian drilling. I waited for the procedure. And I waited, once more, for that second pink line to appear on the test. I had waited for that moment for so long that I couldn't believe it.

From the moment I knew my baby was there, I started waiting for other things. New things. I waited for my first appointment, for that first u/s that would tell me everything was ok and I wasn't dreaming. Then I waited for my second u/s, to see how much this little being, with whom I was already in love, had grown. I waited to get through the first trimester so I could somehow feel more secure. I sometimes feel like I am just sitting here, waiting for things to happen. I'm not complaining, I like this waiting. It's just one waiting after another. Now I'm waiting for my next u/s tomorrow so I can learn a little more about Pépin's identity. I'm waiting for that u/s to really start believing it will happen in the end. I'm waiting to feel the baby move so I can have a daily contact with it. I'm waiting for my belly to pop so I don't just look a little fat around the waist. I'm waiting to know what's hiding in my belly to start thinking seriously about the room, the baby stuff, the names. I'm waiting for the birth, with no hurry, to meet this little guy or girl who took so long to come into our lives.

I'm waiting, with patience and excitement, for everything that seemed so impossible before.

1 comment(s):

Doesn't it seem like we spend such a great part of our lives just waiting for something? Somethings good and others bad. But when we get those long awaited things (like babies for you... or IVF appointments for me!) it makes all the waiting seem worth it.

By Blogger Sheryl, at 8:40 AM  

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