Was it a surprise?
I have a contract that comes twice a year, every 6 months. Today was the beginning, so I had to go to the office in Montréal. I took the bus to get there, since it's much faster and simpler that way. I entered the bus and a nice lady offered me her seat! I was so touched by her nice gesture and, I must say, a little proud that it finally showed enough for others to see.I hadn't told my coworkers I was pregnant, since last time I saw them was at the very beginning of the pregnancy. I wanted to see the look on their faces when I returned, 6 months later, with a big belly. They were quite surprised and it didn't take long before everybody was asking me questions and giggling. A coworker asked me if it was a surprise or if it was planed. I said we had been trying for 3 years. She said "oh, so he is very wanted and desired! You must be SO happy!" with a huge smile. That was nice! And when the boss asked me the same question and I gave her the same answer, she asked me if I had to take meds to get pregnant. I told her yes and she said "so it was hard for you guys to get pregnant..." with sincere sadness. I was very surprised by the kindness of these women, whom I hardly know.
While we were ttc, I didn't like being asked about it, so I almost never spoke about it. Now that I am pregnant, I feel the need to talk about it. It's important for me to say that it wasn't easy, that it took us a long time. Not to get their pity, but to make sure they don't mistake me for a fertile. It's not what we are. Even if infertility has been very hard an demanding, it's part of us and it's important for me to show it. Also, I think we never know who around us might be infertile. So I'm thinking if a person going through infertility hears me say it took us a long time and talk about our treatments, maybe it would give them a little hope. I know, before I was pregnant, I hated the sight of any round belly, infertile or not. So I don't expect infertile couple to look at me with admiration and hope. But maybe they could see that yes, sometimes, it happens and I am not ashamed of what it took us to get here. Or maybe I just want to be sure they don't hate me because they think I am fertile, but only because I am pregnant...
posted by Kiwi at
5:06 PM
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