Eggs, shots and rock n roll

Thursday, June 14, 2007


Today, I turn 30. I had a hard time with this, with the fact that my youth was about to end. I felt old. I remember when I was 18 how I would think 30 year olds were boring and how old they looked to me.

But today, I don't feel old. I don't feel boring and most of all, I don't feel 30.

I had a folicle scan last Tuesday. I was so afraid my doc was going to tell me once again that the meds didn't work. I felt hope, I admit it, because I had always ovulated with injectibles. But that hope made me even more afraid, because now, I was afraid there would really be nothing more we could do (IVF is out of the question for us, financialy speaking).

The news were good. I was hoping for one good folicle, I got 4. I never in my life imagined I could produce so many eggs at once. They were still small though (from 12 to 14) so I had to do 3 more days of Gonal-f. I went back this morning for another u/s. I said to myself "worse case scenario, I only have one mature folicle, which would already be wonderful for me."

The news were good, again. I have one 19 mm folicle, and 3 slightly smaller ones. So I have to shoot Gonal-f one more day (tomorrow) and then, trigger shot tomorrow evening for a nice ovulation on Sunday morning. My dr said I would have 3 or 4 eggs. 3 or 4!! I can't believe this! Even if I don't get pregnant this cycle, I feel very happy we have found something that works well.

I am nowhere near how I felt while trying for #1. I am nowhere near that kind of heartache and longing and feeling of emptiness. I felt impatient, frustrated when my first 2 medicated cycles didn't even give me one good folicle, but it has nothing to do with how it felt when trying for #1, over, and over again.

Félix was conceived on Mother's day 2 years ago. Is it crazy to hope baby #2 will be conceived on Father's day this year? Hey, it's not because I'm old now that I can't be crazy.


Wednesday, June 06, 2007

The new plan

I got my period last Saturday. I was waiting for it, expecting it, anxious to start a new cycle with a possibility of an ovulation this time. I called my dr's office and they told me what the new plan is.

I started Serophene on CD3 Monday and I have to take it til CD8. They added one more day, much to P's delight. Bring on the hot flashes and crankiness! I also have to inject 100ui of Gonal-f daily from CD7 to CD10 and I see my doc on June 12 for a u/s, to see if all these meds did anything more than just make me bite everybody's heads off and cry because my cereals are mushy. If things go as planed (crossing my fingers!), I could ovulate right on my 30th birthday (the 14). Could this be lucky?

I know I'll pay later for being optimistic, but I want to be positive. After all, this will be like our first try. Who could blame me for hoping? Who could blame me for wanting this to work?

I'm still a little disappointed not to be able to "only" take Metformin and Femara for a couple of months and see what happens. That's kinda what I thought would happen for #2, since it finally worked well for Félix. I thought I would have it easier, no doc appointments, no dildocam. Almost like normal couples: a chart and some sex. Plus a couple of pills.

Oh well. It's only that, plus a couple injections and a wand session. No biggie.

Bring it on, I'm ready!