Eggs, shots and rock n roll

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Riding the bus

Because of the wedding magazines contract, I've been working a lot in down-town Montreal. I took the bus to get there and to get back. In the morning, at rush hour, there never are any seats available because I'm at the end of the line. People never give me their seat, but that's ok, because a lot of people get down after I get in. So I never got to do the whole bus ride standing up. Anyway, I don't think it shows that much with my winter coat on...

At night, when I get in the bus, I am almost always standing up too. There was one night where I was feeling really tired and my back was killing me. I felt bad for wanting to take somebody's place, but my legs were shaking. Nobody offered me their seat. I was weak and tired and so not in the mood... so I opened my coat, took my scarf off and showed my round belly... I know, what a shame! I'm sure I pissed every infertile on the bus and I am sorry! I couldn't believe I was taking advantage of being pregnant... but really, my back hurt like hell. And it worked! The woman in front of me looked up and offered me her seat. And all I could say was "oh that's so very nice of you! But I'm ok, thanks!" After all, I don't know what kind of a day she's had. Maybe her back hurts more than mine. She said "No, no! You sit! I know what it's like and you have to sit." She stood up before I could say anything else, so I sat down, thanking her. A loud "yessss!" was ringing in my head, but I felt bad at the same time...

Having been on the other side of the fence, I can remember how I felt, when I wasn't pregnant, whenever I saw a round belly. And it made me feel so bad now to think somebody, somewhere, would feel that too when seing me.

One morning, a lady told me when a seat became available behind me, even if she was standing too. And my coat was still zipped up! Another night, once again standing up, coat zipped up, scarf up to my ears, the lady in front of me (funny how it's always a lady!) asked me if I wanted to sit down. I told her "No, but thanks a lot!" - I'm not sure why I keep refusing the seats when all I really want is to sit down. She took a few seconds to think and then got up and forced me to sit. All right, all right I get it! I won't play the innocent pregnant lady who thinks she is stronger than she really is anymore. This stupid pride of mine has got to stop.

But I still opened my coat and took off my scarf, in case anybody on the bus would wonder why I took that lady's seat...

Still here!

I'm such a lame blogger these days. I have excuses, but really, how long does it take to write a post to say I'm ok? I've been super busy for the last month. I am self-employed, as you might know, and october/november are always the busiest months for me, mostly because I am the graphic designer for all the ads in 2 big wedding magazines that come out every 6 months. On top of that, I had a new big contract too, plus my regular work. So, I've been working days, nights and weekends for the last 5 weeks. And when not working, I was either sleeping or doing what needed to be done around the house. The magazines were finished last Friday and I finished the other big contract yesterday. I can finally breathe! Well, not really, since my clients are all waking up at the same time and realizing I won't be there come February so they might hurry up and make me work before I drop and have the baby. At least I'm back to working from home, which is a big plus for me. I may be working a lot still, but at least I can do so in my pjs!

Can't wait for Christmas vacation!

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

The 3rd dimension

I am such a bad blogger these days... I am so swamped with work! It's a good thing though, being self-employed, the more I work, the more money I make! And I've been sick with a bad cold for the last 4 days. I did not sleep at all Friday and Saturday night so I went to the the pharmacist. He told me I could take some Sinus Tylenol (which the other pharmacist had not told me 2 days earlier) so things have been better since then. Anywho...

Last week, I had my appointment for my 3D u/s. This u/s was just for fun, so they didn't measure anything. It was solely to see our little boy one more time.

This u/s took place in a private fertility clinic. I have been to a regular public ob-gyn clinic for the last 3 years, but my dr was also a RE. The u/s I have had before where either there or at the hospital. There has always been pregnant women where I went. So this was new for me. I had never been to this private clinic and as soon as I walked in, I felt weird. I knew every couple in the waiting room were there to receive fertility treatment. I knew they were still waiting to get what I have. I knew they would hate the sight of my round belly and I understood. I tried to hide it as much as I could, but it's not that easy to hide a watermelon under you coat. The receptionist had the sensibility of making me wait in a seperate room, alone with P, which was a relief for both of us. It's not written on my forehead that it took us 3 years to acheive this pregnancy, so there was no reason for these couples not to hate me. I know, I've been there.

The u/s went really well. I learned that Pépin is now upside down, ready to go! That's why I had been feeling him differently lately. The fact that he was head first meant he would have less liberty of movement for the u/s. He had his hands in front of his face the whole time, but we got a few good shots of his cute cheeks anyway.

The u/s lasted a long time. There was a part in 2D and we saw him yawn. How hard is the life of a fetus, I wonder?

I love seeing him again. It seems I fall in love all over when I see him, so big, so alive. Every u/s makes his existence a little more real, a little closer.

Here are some pictures of my Pépin in 3D.
His mouth open, with his little hand
His big cheeks
His little hands and one foot in front of his face (quite flexible!)
Showing his biceps
His long feet
Pinching his nose
Sucking his thumb